Re-make / Re-model
00:34:30
About
It’s episode 250! And to celebrate the team have decided to play “what if?”. We have all chosen a film outside of the genre to be remade as a horror: Who do you cast? Who’s directing it? What changes about the story and what stays the same? It’s just a bit a daft laff, but if you enjoy this episode, let us know what your choices would be. Technically there’s no spoilers (or spoilers for films that don’t exist?), so just put on your party hat and join us.
Transcript
Show full transcript
LeeEvening and welcome to horror.
ChrisI'm Chris.
AdamI'm Adam.
JenniferI'm Jennifer.
LeeUh, we are here for episode 250.
LeeSomehow, I haven't worked out yet, but we're still here.
AdamWoohoo. Where did that come from?
LeeUm, so we decided to do something a bit different for episode 250, and funnily enough, Adam and I ended up thinking of almost exactly the same thing.
LeeUm, but Adam managed to put a slightly more exciting, uh, twist on it. Adam, would you like to tell them what we're going to be doing this evening?
AdamWell, for a start, I'm calling this episode Remake Remodel because then I can use the Roxy Music track on the Instagram post.
AdamThat's just, that was just a thing anyway.
AdamBut basically, we're looking at, we're looking for, uh, a film to remake, but the crucial thing is, it's not a horror film, but we're making it as a horror film.
AdamAnd you get full fantasy casting, um, you know, whatever you want, directors, cast, writers, music, whatever you fancy.
AdamUm, I think as I put it in the chat was, if you think John Waters can do a really good horror version of the Minecraft movie with music by Chas and Dave, we'll do it.
ChrisHey.
LeeThat sounds good. I like that.
LeeRight, so, to kick us off, Adam, as this was your idea, would you like to go first?
AdamOkie dokie, then.
AdamWell, I've, this is, weirdly enough, this was something where I, because at one point I was thinking, do I do the Are You Being Served movie, but recast it with Hammer veterans and stuff like that.
AdamBut, uh, I decided, I decided against that.
AdamBut, um, basically, so, uh, outside of, outside of horror, I, uh, I do always, I like a good, um, I like a good gangster movie.
AdamUm, and so I've gone with, uh, The Long Good Friday, which in its original form is Bob Hoskins as a gangland boss who's trying to cult some mafia guys to go in with him on a development of Docklands.
AdamUm, as it turns out, other criminals were involved in the development of Docklands, they didn't need a fictitious one to come in.
AdamUm, but, um, uh, but unfortunately, he comes a cropper with the IRA, and, uh, it all sort of goes pear-shaped from there, and over the course of like a couple of days or the, the titular Long Good Friday, uh, his empire is burnt down around him.
AdamUh, so I've sort of, uh, it's a film I really love, but I've thought to myself, well,
AdamWhat about the Long Good Beltane?
LeeHey.
AdamAnd basically, in this version, it's similar sort of thing, you've got this gangster who's come a cropper, but he's come a cropper with a group of cultists.
LeeOoh.
AdamAnd it involves various sort of like summonings of demons, uh, horrible sacrifices, and so on and so forth, and it's just sort of, uh, similar sort of theme, but spiraling out into far weirder territory as far as I'm concerned.
AdamUm, so, um, I, there was, uh, so I've gone with, uh, in terms of casting, for Harold Shand, which was Bob Hoskins' part in the original, I've gone with Tom Hardy.
AdamBecause he's just great, and I think he sort of excels in those sort of roles anyway.
LeeYeah, absolutely.
AdamIn the, in the original, his, uh, his girlfriend is portrayed by Helen Mirren, um, and that character Victoria.
AdamI've gone with Anya Taylor-Joy because she's just the patron saint of the podcast as it is anyway.
AdamBut also I feel she would do the same sort of thing, because in the film, Helen Mirren's very sort of like refined and respectable, but clearly smart and is an integral part of the operation that Bob Hoskins is running, and more to the point, is the one person who can make him fucking see sense.
AdamYeah, when he's going fucking wild.
AdamSo I thought that was it.
AdamUh, also in that, you've got Jeff, who is the treacherous apprentice, who it turns out was the one who, spoilers for people who haven't seen the fucking Long Good Friday, but he, he basically is the nub of the problem.
AdamUm, but I've gone with, uh, Freddie Fox, because I just think he's very good, he's just very good at playing sort of either are you innocuously innocent or are you up to something?
LeeYeah.
AdamAnd it's sort of, you know, so.
AdamUm, and then, uh, in the original, there's Razors, played by, uh, P.H. Moriarty, who is Harold's right-hand man.
AdamUh, and jobs for the boys here, I've gone with Andrew Elias.
LeeOh, yes. Yes. shit hot at it.
AdamHe's got the right sort of, he would be the, because that's the kind of thing that goes on in that, is you've got this character Jeff who's sort of like quite a well-educated, uh, you know, sort of not atypical for a gangster, and then you've got Razors, who is clearly old school and sort of, you know, a right nasty bastard.
AdamAnd even though Andrew Elias is an absolutely lovely man, boy can he play a bastard, so I've gone, I've gone with him for that.
AdamUm, as Parky, the bent copper, who's in, uh, Harold's pocket, I've gone with Maxine Peake.
AdamMostly because I want to hear her voice when she says, are you telling me you're driving around with a bleating bomb in your car, Harold?
AdamAnd, you know, because I mean that's the thing, is the Long Good Friday is, it's a great film, but it's also got so many fucking killer lines in it, and I think they would, you know, I think, and, um, there's also the corrupt counselor who he's working with to try and get the deal for the construction of all this sort of property deal and everything else like that.
AdamAnd I've gone with Steve Pemberton.
LeeHmm.
AdamUm, and then the two Mafia guys who come over, I've got, I'm fucking sick of the Mafia, so I've decided to reunite Keith David and Daniel Kaluuya as two American gangsters coming over.
AdamAnd Keith David would just be perfect, because in, in the film it's Charlie, played by Eddie Constantine, and it's like, he barely raises his voice, but he is clearly such a scary, powerful fucker, where it's like, you know, he's avuncular and polite the whole way through, but it's like, don't fuck with him, because this is, and I think, yeah.
AdamSo, and obviously to a certain extent, reuniting Steve Pemberton with Daniel Kaluuya as well.
AdamSo.
AdamUm, then in the film, the IRA are kind of faceless, but I would want to emphasize more that the cult have a, um, sort of leader or whatever like that, and I've gone with Michelle Gomez.
AdamYeah, because I think she just is unhinged and terrifying in all the right ways.
AdamUh, and, um, and finally there's a character called Errol, who's an informant, again, jobs for the boys, I've gone with Tom Rutter.
LeeExcellent. Oh, God, yeah, now I want to see this.
AdamYeah.
AdamI, and, um, so, um, I thought it's, it's in same sort of territory as a lot of stuff that he does, and I think he would bring the humor as well as the, the sort of harshness to it, so, I want it directed by Ben Wheatley.
LeeYeah, nice.
AdamThat's good.
LeeOkay.
AdamYep.
AdamYeah.
AdamOh, no, I'm sorry.
AdamI'm sorry.
AdamYeah.
AdamOkay, that's fine.
AdamYeah.
AdamNo.
AdamNo, that's fine.
AdamYeah, he would be great.
LeeExcellent, yeah.
AdamOkay, no.
AdamOkay.
AdamYeah.
AdamYeah.
AdamYeah, that's fine.
AdamNo.
AdamUm, yeah, and music.
AdamYeah.
AdamOkay.
AdamMusic?
AdamI'm going Barry Adams, I'm doing a bit of a Jodorowsky here.
AdamUh, yeah.
AdamYeah.
AdamYeah.
AdamOkay.
AdamI'm going to go Barry Adamson.
AdamI'm doing a bit of a Jadorewski here.
AdamSo, Barry Adamson for all the gangland bits.
AdamAnd then, again, friends of the friends of the show, English Heretic for all the cult and weird and psychedelic bits and stuff like that, I think it would just be, yeah.
AdamSo, I present to you the Long Good Beltane.
LeeHey!
ChrisHey.
LeeExcellent, that's great.
AdamLove it.
Jennifer10 out of 10 for the name, I think, as well, yeah.
AdamYeah.
AdamThank you.
LeeUm, Jennifer, would you like to go next?
JenniferUm, yeah, if you don't mind, now Adam has sort of set the tone, and I, you know, get a feel for how we're doing this, that was rather marvelous.
JenniferRight.
JenniferUm, so, I of course am going with my favorite film ever, which is Gone With The Wind.
ChrisYes.
LeeHey.
JenniferUm, and listeners might not know it, but that's fine, this might encourage them to go and watch the original rather than my version, that obviously won't ever happen.
JenniferUm, but yes, so the original, uh, 1939, uh, when it was released.
JenniferUh, they used, I think it was only three Technicolor, um, cameras that were in existence at the time to film it.
JenniferSo, massive, um, you know, one loads of awards, just, just massive scale doing everything.
JenniferUm, it is about four hours long, as well.
JenniferSo, you know, a lot goes on in it.
JenniferBasically, Scarlett O'Hara is the sort of, you know, heroine, um, and she goes through or lives through the war.
JenniferUh, this is, let me see, I'm not very good on my wars.
JenniferUh, the Yankees versus the Confederates.
AdamIt's, it's the Civil, the American Civil War, isn't it?
JenniferThank you, of course it is, yes.
JenniferUm, yeah, um, and lots happens.
JenniferBasically, she survives till the end, which means, in my version, she must be a witch.
LeeYes.
ChrisYes.
JenniferYes. I was starting thinking vampires, I was like, no, the things she does, definitely a witch.
JenniferUm, she's obviously beautiful, uh, played by Vivian Leigh.
JenniferAnd she, um, in a nutshell, some of the witchy things at the start, all the men are in love with her.
JenniferShe has them falling at her feet, so obviously love potions are involved there.
JenniferUm, two of her husbands die, um, so again, she's obviously caused that.
LeeYeah.
JenniferUm, in return though, because we know you can't do bad magic without it coming back at you, her own daughter does die later on.
JenniferUm, and she meets Rhett Butler, who must be a warlock.
JenniferBecause, he's the only man/warlock in my version who can actually kind of hold his own to her.
JenniferYeah, so a lot of the film is their relationship, and neither of them kind of come out of it unscathed.
JenniferUm, so therefore I decided he must be able to counter her magic spells.
JenniferUm, examples of magic throughout, I've decided.
JenniferUh, they managed to drive through the burning of Atlanta, so obviously that wouldn't happen if you weren't magic in some way.
JenniferUh, she manages to shoot and kill a Yankee, despite having any gun skills or anything else.
JenniferUm, and her home, which is called Tara, that she absolutely loves, is still standing at the end of the war, and she goes back there.
JenniferSo, um, you know, must be something magic going on there.
JenniferUm, she's a midwife at one point in the film, she helps another woman give birth, so that's a witchy thing.
LeeOh, yeah.
AdamOh, yeah.
JenniferUm, growing plants, so she starts growing cotton again, because again that was that era.
JenniferUm, a hat, there's an excellent scene where she gets a lovely, lovely green velvet hat.
JenniferDoesn't look like a witch's hat, but I think it could be.
JenniferUm, and I couldn't find a broom link.
JenniferBut she does run a sawmill at some point, and what would you make in a sawmill?
JenniferBut wooden things like broomsticks.
LeeLike broomsticks, yeah.
JenniferYes.
JenniferSo that's all of the sort of witchy things generally.
JenniferUm, and then also I thought I'll just bring in, so there's any spells involved in it.
JenniferSo, uh, the the famous line by Rhett Butler is, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
JenniferAnd damn, of course, was a curse word back in 1939 when it was used, the censors were up in arms, oh, disgraceful.
LeeYeah.
JenniferSo that's your curse.
JenniferAnd Scarlett has a lot of odd things she says, my favorite one is, "Fiddle-dee-dee."
JenniferNow, if that's not a, you know, some sort of magic spell, I don't know what it is.
AdamIt's got, it's got the, it's got the words, hasn't it?
JenniferYeah.
JenniferSo, yeah, um, and then all this, the backdrop would be the Confederates would be zombies, the Yankees would be werewolves, because they pretty much win, so they're obviously more violent, um, whereas the Confederates just get, you know, blown away.
JenniferUm, yeah, and I think probably that is my kind of whistle stop tour of Gone With The Wind.
ChrisIf this was released, would anyone ever watch Gone With The Wind again?
JenniferUm, yes, I think we'll stand out, but I think mine might put a twist on it.
JenniferOh, and for the cast, it would have to be the original cast, because of course we could bring them back using black magic.
AdamExactly.
JenniferUm, and they would be perfect in those roles, as they were at the time, even if they were playing it as, you know, witches and warlocks.
AdamCould they, would they, would they have filmed it concurrently on the same set?
AdamSo like the Spanish Dracula with the universal, you know, they did like the dark side of Gone With The Wind at night, they did that one, and then during the day.
AdamI mean the, I mean, it was the 1930s, everyone was allowed to take speed medically, so they'd be fine.
JenniferYeah, they would have just worked right through, you're right.
JenniferYes.
JenniferMarvellous.
LeeNice.
JenniferThank you, thank you.
AdamThat's fantastic.
AdamIt does, it, it also, like you say, it does sort of explain quite a lot of the longevity in that film if it's like, you've been through a lot here.
LeeYeah.
AdamAnd, you know, raw luck doesn't seem to cut it in that way.
JenniferExactly.
JenniferOh, and one more thing I just saw I had written down, she does throughout as well appear as the, uh, the maiden, the mother, and then the crone.
LeeOh, yeah.
JenniferBecause you obviously see her through her life.
JenniferSo, you know, she's a lovely young girl at the very start, then she gets married, has a child, and then at the end she's gone through all of this terrible, you know, heartache and everything else, and, you know, takes to alcohol and is a bit crone-like.
JenniferSo, yeah, there we go.
LeeGood.
AdamYeah.
LeeGood.
AdamThat's fantastic.
LeeGood job. Thank you.
LeeUm, Chris, your turn to follow that, I'm afraid.
ChrisYeah, well,
Chrisunfortunately, uh, Adam completely ruined mine by taking almost like 99% of what I'd thought up.
AdamI know.
ChrisAside from, aside from the film, everything else exactly the same.
ChrisSo, as I don't have time to rewrite it all.
JenniferWell, which he is, isn't we then?
ChrisWell, we're not quite which, yeah.
ChrisUh, so, so I loved my idea, it's Groundhog Day.
LeeOh.
AdamHey.
ChrisBecause that is essentially a horror, all you got to do is take out the comedy, and there we go, I'm all done.
AdamYeah.
ChrisYeah, so, um, so I've changed the name to The Forecast, which still might be a little bit too gimmicky.
ChrisYou know, because really, well, what I'm going for though, really is, is this becomes bleak.
ChrisYou know, this is like,
ChrisUh, yeah, we strip out the comedy.
AdamYou're, you're fully Requiem for a Dream in it.
ChrisIt is, is that is exactly where this is heading.
ChrisAnd I was like, yeah, I did also realize, you know, about halfway through thinking through all this, it's a little bit Triangle.
LeeYeah.
AdamYes.
ChrisWhich is both very good, but I was like, oh, I kind of thought I had an original, but clearly that's gone into my mind as well, which totally makes sense, because that's also excellent.
ChrisSo, yeah, so the director, I've gone for Ari Aster, Midsommar.
AdamNice.
ChrisYeah, that, I think he could, uh, he could certainly build to a bleak end.
AdamI was going to say if, if anyone can bleak, he can.
ChrisProbably, yeah.
ChrisUm, and I it took me a while, I, I ended up going for Bill Skarsgård and as Phil.
LeeYeah.
ChrisThe reason is, I think he can do charming, um, I've seen him in a few things where he's actually really quite likeable.
ChrisBut he has done, um, a few where he's, I think he's got the right sort of hollowness, um, you could believe that he is starting to suffer, um, so he's like Nosferatu, I mean, essentially you could kind of take him from that and replay it.
ChrisI think that would do.
ChrisUm, here's where, because he has that sort of glibness.
AdamYeah.
ChrisYeah.
AdamThat, because that's the thing, he's obviously is the, you know, the whole, though Bill Murray, obviously, it's the same sort of thing where it's like, he starts off really shallow and.
ChrisYes, yeah.
ChrisWhich I don't think of Bill Skarsgård as as shallow, exactly, but I, I think it's not quite that, it's just a sort of a, a more serious, um, yeah, without the comedy again, really.
ChrisBecause, because that's the thing, Bill Murray, he can play someone who you're like, oh, you're not very nice, but you still find him, you know, charming.
LeeCharming somehow.
ChrisYeah, like there's, there's something that he can almost never get away from, really, no matter what he does.
ChrisBut, but yeah, and then next, Rita is our, what did you call her, Adam, she's now our patron saint of the podcast, Anya Taylor-Joy.
ChrisYeah.
ChrisAnd again, I thought she, um, so Andie MacDowell is, you know, very likable.
ChrisYeah.
ChrisIn it, I want someone who is also likeable, but still got that seriousness against Bill Skarsgård.
ChrisI thought actually she could probably do a pretty good job there.
AdamYeah.
ChrisUm, and for Larry, the cameraman, um, who was Chris Elliot, I went for Andrew Elias.
LeeOh.
AdamDid you.
LeeOh.
ChrisOh.
LeeOh.
ChrisSo partially, of course, I was thinking, I want to, you know, let's have a look at the independent actors that we've seen.
AdamBusy lad.
ChrisI thought, oh, actually, like, you know, it's not that they, they don't look the same, but there's something where they're, you know.
ChrisAgain, he's Andrew Elias likable, but could also play the serious side of it.
ChrisSo I was like, okay, yeah, he's pretty good.
ChrisSo, yeah, you totally ruined, ruined my, I'm thinking about that.
LeeI'm going first.
ChrisI mean, we could, we could look at it as, you know, clearly.
ChrisThe right sort of things are rubbing off.
AdamYes.
AdamWell, we'll, we'll go with a great.
AdamGreat minds think alike and also be, Andrew Elias is fucking brilliant.
AdamSo let's get him more stuff.
ChrisDefinitely.
ChrisUh, so yeah, so my, my summary is I'm refusing to let a feel-good comedy off the hook.
ChrisThe premise was always horror, Murray just made it funny and Ramus let him out at the end.
ChrisUm, I do neither.
ChrisThe honest answer to what did you change, kind of nothing, we've got the same scenes, you know, but really the jokes aren't there.
ChrisUm, and it just gets darker and darker, and I've stuck with the I Got You Babe.
ChrisFirst play through is as it is and then we start to make it worse and worse as it replays, um, and I decided to go with, uh, Crylic, uh, who also played, um, I have now not written his name down.
ChrisBobby Crylic, that's it.
AdamOh, the composer.
ChrisYes, yes, composer.
ChrisSo I figured he, he would do a good job, um, you know, there's not much, like unless I was going to change it a lot, there's not a lot of dark scenes in this, so yeah, to try and get that eeriness going, I think he could do that.
AdamIt's, I, I think it's a brilliant idea, Chris, because I mean, because it, it should be a horror film.
ChrisYeah.
AdamAnd, and, you know, it's, it's just, it's just a literal turn of the screw with it, and you get a horror film.
ChrisYeah.
AdamAnd, yeah, it's, no, I think that's a fantastic idea.
ChrisAnd it's, you know, it's like, yeah, what film would you like to see, I like that.
AdamAnd yeah, I also love the title, The Forecast is just, that is such a fucking horror title, that's like, I can see it now, A24.
ChrisOh, yeah.
AdamThey got the forecast with Bill Skarsgård and Anya Taylor-Joy.
AdamShit, I'm going to have to watch that.
ChrisAnd, and there, and essentially, the, the end is.
ChrisThere is no way out, you are just repeating, no matter what you do, so, you know, you're, you're being.
ChrisYou're, you appear to, you think you're solving all the problems and you're progressing, but what actually once you've, once he's done the perfect day, it's still just bleak and he's just got to repeat.
LeeYeah.
AdamOh, man.
AdamThat's fantastic.
LeeOh, right.
LeeI can't believe you two had such similar ideas.
ChrisYeah.
LeeOkay, so for mine, my two honorable mentions, the ones I didn't go for, um, but I have still created poster art for them, so I will be sharing that at a later date.
LeeUm, I was going to go with The Karate Kid, um, Daniel LaRusso, while hanging around with Mr. Miyagi, finds his book of ancient Chinese black magic, uh, puts a curse on the Cobra Kai to kill them, doesn't realize that the next full moon they come back as zombies, and he still has to fight them, but now they're the undead.
AdamOh, yeah.
AdamOh, yeah.
AdamSo they'd be, so they wouldn't be wearing skeleton costumes.
AdamThey would literally be skeleton.
LeeYeah, yeah.
ChrisI mean, that sounds as much fun as the original.
ChrisAlso, I'd like to say, well done for picking a film that I've actually seen, because it turns out I'm that uncultured, I have not seen either Adam's or Jennifer's, only the Karate Kid.
AdamYou haven't seen Jennifer's, because I've, I've seen Gone With The Wind because of Jennifer.
ChrisYou would have thought, you would have thought she would have forced that on me at some point, but apparently.
JenniferShe's in the, uh, what's the film, was in the.
LeeOrange, orange.
JenniferOkay.
JenniferThere.
ChrisI mean, to be fair, you made it sound like, you know, sounds like it's worth a watch, but um, but yeah, yeah, Lee, what else have you got?
LeeSo my second honorable mention, uh, because again, it's one of my all-time favorites, I was going to go with The Goonies, um, but instead of the Fratellis chasing them, it's the ghost of, uh, One-Eyed Willy and his, uh, his crewmates.
LeeSo basically, like a Scooby Doo type ghost pirates coming to chase them around.
LeeUm, yeah, again, I decided to go against that.
LeeSo, I know Adam knows this incredibly well, but I don't know if Chris ever has, so I'm going to read you, I've written out the synopsis.
ChrisOkay.
LeeAs I would have it, and we'll see how long it takes.
LeeAdam, if you just say yes.
AdamOkay.
LeeWhen you've worked out what it is, Chris will find out if you've ever seen it.
LeeSo it is a comedy horror, just to be clear.
LeeTwo hapless friends who become rich during the early crypto boom and have a love for spaghetti westerns, buy an abandoned ghost town in which they play out their wild west fantasies.
AdamYeah.
LeeThe only other inhabitant is a stranger they hire to staff the saloon and hotel Bastardos.
AdamYeah.
LeeHowever, the sound of gunfights, drinking and carousing awakens the undead outlaws of the town's Wild West heyday who rise from the dead to kill the varmints who have disturbed their cursed slumber.
AdamFucking brilliant.
LeeUm, Chris, do you know what this is?
ChrisI, I don't.
LeeUh, so the the original was a Comic Strip Presents episode, uh, called a Fistful of Travelers Checks, which first aired on, uh, the 21st of January 1984.
ChrisAll right.
LeeUm, and the story is two, basically it's before like larping, but that's effectively what it is, what it is, two northerners who want to be gunslingers.
LeeSo they go to Spain, um, with their great big six shooters full of blanks, and just wander around acting like they're in a spaghetti western and shooting the shit out of each other for no reason for the crack.
LeeAnd it's one of the funniest things ever put to celluloid.
AdamYeah.
ChrisOkay.
ChrisI mean,
Chrisit, it sounds a bit odd from just that paragraph, but, okay.
LeeIt it yeah, it's just mental.
LeeUm, so I.
AdamI think, I think actually you've, you've actually brought more to it, because the original is, although it's brilliant, the original is such a weird fucking idea.
AdamLike, especially like you say, because it is, thinking about it, you're right, it is pre-larping, but it is basically two cosplayers go on holiday to like Spain to pretend to be in a spaghetti western.
ChrisYeah, out as like, yeah, as real as possible.
AdamAnd the sort of people they meet along the way.
AdamBut yeah, that would be, oh, yeah.
AdamNo, I, I, fuck me, you know I'd be out for that, I'd definitely want to see that.
LeeUh, so I've titled it a fistful of crypto.
AdamOh, nice.
LeeUm, which made me laugh particularly as it's a non-physical, uh, currency, so you can't have a fistful of crypto, that made me laugh even more.
LeeUm, so I would have it directed by Ade Edmondson, because I'd want the original feel.
LeeSo Rick Mayall and Peter Richardson's character, I have replaced with the fantastic double act, I'm going to forgive their last movie and we shall never speak of it again.
LeeUm, I've got Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly.
AdamOh.
LeeThey gun slingers.
ChrisWait, what, what was their last movie?
LeeUh, so their last one, they did a Sherlock Holmes movie that was awful.
LeeThey were good in it, well no, they were, it was awful, but if anybody else, if anybody else had made it, it would, I mean it is unwatchable as it is.
LeeBut like Step Brothers and everything, if you go back to that, they are amazing.
AdamThey would, they would be perfect.
LeeYes.
AdamBut in those roles, because that's just, it would feel, like you say, it would almost be like an extension of how they are as Step Brothers.
LeeYes.
AdamIt's just.
LeeOh, man.
LeeThat's what they jumped straight to mine.
LeeUh, so I'm replacing Keith Allen's character who runs the saloon and the hotel, I'm getting Bruce Campbell in.
AdamOf course.
LeeYeah.
ChrisNice work.
ChrisI, I wanted to use him, I, I couldn't quite see it, but so at least I didn't copy you in that one.
LeeUm, and for our gang of, uh, undead cowboys, I've got Jason Momoa as the lead, as the gang leader.
LeeUm, and for the rest of the gang, I've got Johnny Knoxville.
AdamNice.
LeeUh, Sean William Scott, who is Stifler from American Pie.
LeeUh.
LeeUh, Matthew Lillard, obviously from Scream and Scooby Doo.
LeeYeah.
LeeUh, I've gone with Sean Wayans, I thought he'd be brilliant from the scary movies, and I'm going to give him a gun, sir.
AdamOh, yes, yes.
LeeUh, and, uh, uh, Giovanni Ribisi, sorry.
LeeBecause I can't get enough of Giovanni Ribisi.
LeeAnd I'd like to see him in everything.
AdamI can't place him.
LeeUm, he is in Ted, he's the creepy guy in Ted who tries to steal the who does the weird dance to, is it.
LeeI think we're alone now by Tiffany or something.
LeeHe does that weird dancing in front of the TV, which is.
AdamYes, but I, I know, yeah.
AdamI know the guy you mean now, yes, sorry.
LeeHe's fantastic.
LeeUm, and just to keep in with you guys, I think we should add Andrew Elias to that as well.
AdamYeah.
ChrisYeah.
AdamYeah.
AdamThat's what we need.
AdamWe need just this is the the full blown, this is the full blown Andrew Elias, uh, trilogy.
LeeYes.
AdamYeah.
ChrisYeah.
LeeYeah.
LeeUm, and I, I've knocked up a copy of the, um, the cover.
ChrisMhm.
LeeWhich I shall show you now and we can share it at a later date.
LeeSo, nice.
AdamThat's the poster art.
AdamMhm.
LeeAnd the ones that I didn't go for.
AdamOh, man.
LeeThe ones that I didn't go for.
LeeThat's my Karate Kid one.
LeeAnd that's my Goonies one.
ChrisYeah.
AdamOh, fantastic.
AdamWell, I, I, um, I availed myself of, uh, my, my beautiful wife's artistic skills, and she has done a Long Good Beltane poster for us.
LeeOh, amazing.
AdamBased on, based on the original, but with, um, Tom Hardy, and, and your Taylor Joy, Keith David and Andrew Elias poster.
LeeYeah.
AdamSo, yes.
AdamYeah.
AdamYeah.
AdamSo, yeah.
AdamSo we can share that.
LeeNice.
ChrisYeah.
LeeI'm looking forward to it.
AdamObviously, when I was talking, when I was reading up to this.
AdamAlso, Claire put in her bid if you'd like to hear.
LeeYes, 100%.
AdamSo, Claire went with My Neighbor Totoro.
LeeOh.
ChrisNice.
LeeHey.
AdamUh, and this is the plot.
AdamThe children are fully grown women who have regressed into childhood after years of slow poisoning from an evil man who kidnapped them, convinced them he's their father, and that they are still small children.
LeeOh, right.
AdamTheir hallucinations start small, seeing shadows, soot sprites in the new decrepit home where they are being held.
AdamTheir shared psychosis gets more extreme as the film goes on, leading up to a vision of a giant forest monster called Totoro.
LeeYeah.
AdamTheir mother isn't their mother, but their friend who escaped and is in hospital because she tried to explain to the authorities she was that she was kidnapped and what she had seen, including Totoro, and got sectioned.
LeeOh.
AdamAnd, and actually the, the, the sort of the monsters and everything, basically there to try and help the girls see through and escape.
AdamUm, she's also put the notes, flexible on director and cast, but Totoro must be voiced by Christopher Walken.
LeeOh.
ChrisNice.
AdamAnd she will, basically, that was because it's Christopher Walken, she just wants to hear how many ways he'll find to say Totoro.
LeeOh.
AdamOh.
AdamYou know.
AdamAnd, uh, she will sell production rights for 130 mil.
LeeNice.
ChrisNice.
LeeOh.
AdamThere we go.
AdamNice right.
LeeNice.
AdamYeah.
AdamYeah.
AdamYeah.
AdamSo, um, yeah, I think we're.
AdamI think we'll be okay.
AdamYeah.
AdamSo, um, yeah, I think we'll be.
AdamI think we're good.
AdamSo, um, yeah, I think we're.
AdamI think we're good.
AdamSo, um, yeah.
AdamSo.
AdamUh, obviously we'll find a.
AdamWe'll find a role in there for for Andrew Elias.
LeeYeah.
ChrisYeah.
LeeOh.
LeeExcellent, yeah, so I, like I know we, we sort of discussed this and on a, when we finished recording our last episode.
LeeUm, and I, and I'm like, once I started, I got so into it, I was like, oh my God, this is, this is never going to be a film now.
AdamYeah.
AdamIt's, it's quite, it's, it's horrible that you can create these.
AdamAnd then you're like, damn, I'm never going to see this.
ChrisAside from him sharing some of the same actors, we've actually come out with kind of four different, or five different styles.
AdamOh, absolutely, yeah.
AdamAnd I think that's gonna, you know, I, I mean, I, I tell you what, it's a hell of a box set.
LeeYeah.
ChrisYeah.
LeeOh, yeah.
LeeWell, have a marathon at the Prince Charles.
LeeThat's what we'll do.
LeeWell done, gentlemen and Jennifer, that was, uh, yeah.
LeeYeah.
LeeGood fun.
LeeUm, and I would definitely watch all of those films.
AdamYes.
LeeYes.
LeeOr maybe not Chris's one, because I think it would be a little bit too bleak for me.
ChrisYou can, you could start with it and then, you know.
JenniferYou'll second them.
ChrisAnd, and on yours.
LeeCorrect, correct.
LeeYeah.
LeeUm, right, so, uh, we'll be back in a fortnight, ladies and gentlemen.
LeeUh, what are we covering next, Adam?
LeeWe talked about a couple of things last week, didn't we?
AdamWe did, can't remember a single bloody one of them.
LeeTroll Hunter was one.
AdamTroll Hunter, yeah.
AdamYes, uh, well, should we do Troll Hunter?
LeeYeah, let's go with that.
LeeI mean like.
AdamI haven't seen that in a long, long time, and I, I, I'm hoping that it's still as bloody good as I remember.
LeeYeah.
AdamUh, is it a new one for you, Chris?
ChrisSo, so it's actually not, but um, I, I did watch it for a re-watching, um, a while ago.
JenniferI think Chris, you should watch Gone With The Wind.
ChrisYeah, well, yeah, yeah.
ChrisBut I think it was definitely a good one to discuss fully, and it, it doesn't hurt for me to watch it again.
AdamYeah.
AdamIt shouldn't, it shouldn't hurt for you to watch.
ChrisI seem to remember it was very good.
LeeOh, yeah, and we then, uh, the other one we mentioned was Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters.
AdamOh, yes, yes.
AdamBecause it's, um, same director as, uh, Dead Snow.
LeeThat's right, yeah, yeah.
AdamYes.
AdamOkay.
AdamYeah, would you, do you want to do that one first or do you want to do Troll Hunter?
LeeI don't know.
LeeShould we, would you want to do Hansel & Gretel and then we'll do Troll Hunter only because that way it gives you a little bit more of a break before Chris watches Troll Hunter again.
AdamThat's true, yeah, probably a good idea.
LeeExcellent, right.
AdamChampion.
ChrisIt's probably, it's probably like five years ago now, but there you go.
LeeYeah.
LeeExcellent, right.
LeeSo, go and check out Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters.
LeeUh, go and check or not the things that we've talked about, because obviously they don't exist.
LeeBut if you haven't seen the originals, yeah, do.
LeeBecause they're all good.
AdamAnd I was good.
AdamAnd I was going to say, if you guys have got any films that you want to see a remake of a film that isn't a horror, turn it into a horror, do you you'd cast it, you know, just send us, send us a message at the usual places, Instagram or the, uh, uh, the website.
AdamAnd, uh, and we'll read them out, yeah.
LeeYeah, definitely.
LeeYeah, I love other people's ideas.
LeeThat'd be fantastic.
JenniferI've already got some from when I was asking people at work what I could do.
LeeYeah.
JenniferSo.
AdamOh, nice.
LeeOh, right.
LeeStockpiling by the right.
JenniferAbsolutely.
JenniferI think musicals for horror.
LeeOh.
LeeI think musicals are horror for me, so yeah, we'll go.
ChrisYeah.
LeeYeah.
LeeYeah.
ChrisLee'll try not to.
LeeOh.
ChrisThink about that too much.
LeeOh.
LeeRight, thanks ever so much for listening everybody, and good night.
ChrisGood night.
JenniferGood night.
